A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”
Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”
A drunk gets on a bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop.
He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus.
Top 13 Warning Labels the FDA is considering placing on beer and alcohol bottles.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
A man goes into a bar and says, “Give me a drink before the trouble starts.”
And the bartender pours him a drink. He drinks it and says, “Give me another drink before the trouble starts.”
He downs that one and says quotation mark, give me another drink before the trouble starts.” Finally, the bartender asks,
