Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidentally called the cricket stadium.
He asks, “How’s the situation?”
He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.
Husband/Wife Jokes Collection
How’s The Situation?
11 Apr, 2010 | 132 viewsNatural Disasters Just Happen
11 Apr, 2010 | 19 viewsNobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
Wrong Email ID
22 Mar, 2010 | 124 viewsA man checked into a hotel.
There was a computer in his room,
So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile… Somewhere in Houston ,
a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral.The widow decided to check her e-mail,
expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
The Helpful Wife
18 Mar, 2010 | 104 viewsMan: What’s the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
8 Words With Two Meanings
02 Mar, 2010 | 91 views1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male…. Playing cricket without a box.
Why Am I Married
02 Mar, 2010 | 94 viewsYou have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’
‘Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.
What Were You Before Your Married Her?
23 Feb, 2010 | 56 viewsInterviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire” 
Poems Written By Husband to Wife
17 Feb, 2010 | 104 viewsI wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
That’s How The Fight Started
13 Feb, 2010 | 140 viewsOne year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
As a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the
gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..
The Unconcerned Widow
21 Jan, 2010 | 105 viewsAn old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most: “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
The neighbors believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed it.
Pass The Sugar, Honey
20 Jan, 2010 | 117 viewsThis guy goes to a party without his wife. He hears this other guy say
to his wife “Pass the sugar, Honey.” and “Pass the honey, Sugar.” He
thinks this sort of speech is a good idea.
First Child?
20 Jan, 2010 | 75 viewsA man is calling the hospital and frantically saying:
“My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!”
The hospital staff worker asks:
“Is this her first child?”
“No, you, idiot! This is her husband!”
Patience
16 Jan, 2010 | 75 viewsHusband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
Divorce
16 Jan, 2010 | 98 viewsAn elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I’m sick of her, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her,” and then hangs up.
The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news.
After I Die?
15 Jan, 2010 | 137 viewsWIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND:
Definitely not!
Perfect Eyesight
15 Jan, 2010 | 94 viewsA woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
The husband replied, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’
And then the fight started….. 
