Guy shoots his wife on 2nd night

Guy’s father gave him a gun on wedding night & said, “Fire in air if wife is virgin, shoot her if not.”

Guy fired in air 1st night and shot her on 2nd night.

A little boy goes to his father and asks ‘Daddy, how was I born?’

The father answers: ‘Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

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He came at night, exposed my body,
got on top of me, touched me,
he bit, sucked, swallowed,
when he was satisfied, he left
I was hurt . . .

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When an APPLE becomes red…
.
.
.

It is ready to eat,

When a girl becomes 18 she is ready to..

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I live next door to two hot ass lesbians. They gave me a Rolex for my birthday.

While it was a very nice gift, I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.

A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.

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A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I have got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.”

The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly:

Paint…my…house