Dorothy was very upset because her husband Albert had just passed away.
She goes to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed, and the instant she sees him she starts wailing and crying.
One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her. Through her tears she explains that she was upset because Albert was wearing a black suit and that it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.
Some interesting observations on the Taliban by that great American philosopher, Jeff Foxworthy.
“YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF…”
1. You refine heroin for a living,
but you have a moral objection to liquor.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher,
but you can’t afford shoes.
Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store.
Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much. it’s all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. It had to be deliberate.
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
As a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the
gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
