1. when in college:
Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din…..

2. When giving interview to Multi National Company:
Tu hi re.. Too hi re ….tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn….
1. when in college:
Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din…..

2. When giving interview to Multi National Company:
Tu hi re.. Too hi re ….tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn….
Ek sahab shehar bhar main jhootay mashoor thay, achanak kisi doosray shehar gaye to unki shohrat sun kar ek pachas sala boorhi aurat unse milne ayi aur boli,
‘Bete kia tum wahi ho jis se bara jhoota aur koi nahi?”
Jhootay ne jawab diya, “Muhtarma choriye is baat ko main to apko dekh kar dang reh gaya, kamal hai ye umar aur uspe ye husn-o-jamal aur dil kashi, wallah mene aaj tak apse haseen aurat nahi dekhi.”
Ek machchar ka bachcha tha.
Maan ne usase kaha – Bachcha ab tujheudana aa gaya hai..
Jaa ab tu khud ba khud udana shuru kar de samajha.
Machhchar ka woh bachcha pehli baar ud kar ek chhota sa chakkar laga aaya.
Jab lauta, sab besabri se uska intejaar kar hi rahe they. Sabne milkar poochha, kyon re chintu, kaisi rahi teri pehli udaan.
Ek bar ek cheenti ne Hathi ke kan mein kuch kaha toh hathi behos ho gaya.
Phir kisine cheenti se pucha ke tumne kya kaha?
Ek charsi ne doston ki dawat ka program banaya, aur apne hi ghar se raat ko bakra chori kia.
Khoob dawat ki, subha jab ghar puhncha to bakra ghar main hi tha.
Biwi se poocha bakra kahan se aya?
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Ek din bhagwan sharab peeny zameen per aa giya 50 boltle peenay k baad dukan wala bola “ap ko charti nahi hay?”
Bhagwan: main bhagwan hun
Club wala: charh gaye salay ko
Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dikha…
Tune 18 saal ki umar me maama kans ko mara,
BIN LADEN ko haath laga kar to dikha…
Tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,
Mere Project Manager se ek baar baat kar ke to dikha..
Ghar Ke Kamon Se Ghabra Kar
Apni Job Se Aajiz Aa Kar
6 Hafte Ki Chutti Pa Kar
Kar Ke Ghar Sunsaan Gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai
Sone Ke Set Banwaye Gi
Shaan Masale Bhi Laye Gi
Suit Bohut Se Silwaye Gi
Shaadi ke dosre din beti apni maa se: “Aaj meri unse larai hogai.”
Maa:beti shaadi mein jhagray to hotay rehte hain.
Beti: “Wo to theek hai par ab laash ka kiya karein?”
Do pethanon ne do ghoray khariday.
aik bola kion na un per koi nishani laga lain takeh pata chal jaye k tumhara kon sa hai aur mera kon sa.
2nd pathan: Theek hai mein apne ghoray ki dum kaat deta hoon.
Doosray din dekha to ksi ne dosray ghoray ki dum bhi kaat di thi.
Shaadi ke pehle – Agar Tum Na Hote
Shaadi ke baad – Agar Tum Na Hote
Shaadi ke pehle – Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad – Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Murghy ney 3 andday diye aur dua karnay lagi “Ya Allah Naik Aulaad Dena”.
Itnay mein Pehla andda toota aur Chooza Namaz Parr raha tha.
Dosra andda toota to Chooza Tasbeeh pay parr raha tha.
Husband: Begum aaj koi aisi baat kaho,
“Jis se dil khush bhi ho jaye aur Jal bhi jaye”
Wife: Tumhare sab doston mein sab se acha KISS karne ka style tumhara hai..
Girl ask to molvi: can i kiss another man?
molvi: astagfirullah.
Girl: can i kiss a married man?
molvi: nauzubillah.
Girl: can i kiss u?
molvi: bismillaha.
Faqeer to Memon: Allah ke nam pe kuch de do baba
Memon: Cycle pe beth jao ek round de deta hun !!
Bagh Bagh Hona
mery abo zamen per ghas laga rhy hian mujhy umeed hai woh kuch dino main bagh bagh hoajygi
Ghorey bech kar sona
imran ney apney ghorey bech kar sona ley liya
Khon k ghont pena
Dracula hamesha khon k ghont peta hai