He said to me . . . I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it
I said to him . . . You wear pants don’t you?

He said to me . . …… Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That’s a good idea – you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart.

He said to me.. … What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ….. Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ….. Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don’t have time.

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . I don’t know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said…What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.

He said to me…. Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.